


I will hold on to you

by parkkate



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M, Misunderstandings, New Year's Day, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2017-12-10
Packaged: 2019-02-10 15:07:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12914469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parkkate/pseuds/parkkate
Summary: Harry realises he is completely in love with his best friend Draco, who is also his flatmate. Will he be able to tell him? And how will Draco react? Well, Harry is in for a surprise.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8QV5fa7xa4).
> 
> Sadly, I do not own Harry Potter. All characters belong to J.K. Rowling.

He didn’t want to move. There was so much pain. Pain everywhere. His arms, his legs, even his toes felt sore. And thinking, thinking felt like someone was drilling a hole in his head. This really wasn’t fair. Ron never got hungover. Was this the universe’s way of creating balance? Punishing Harry for Ron’s dumb luck?

He tried to sit up, regretting it immediately. His stomach definitely didn’t agree with moving. At all.

“Ugh, I’m never drinking again,” Harry mumbled to himself, slowly sinking back down.

“You say that every time.”

Startled, Harry turned around much quicker than he should have. The room started spinning, making him extremely queasy. His eyes wouldn’t focus properly, but he could make out a naked torso beside him. Pale skin. Blond hair.

“Oh, it’s you. For a moment I thought I would be forced to have a really awkward conversation with one of our friends.”

“Which one of our friends?” Draco asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I don’t know.”

“Are you telling me you were so drunk, you would have slept with Blaise? Finnigan? Thomas? Theo?” He paused. “Longbottom? Weasley?”

Harry wanted to laugh, but he was afraid of what his stomach would do then. So instead, he settled into a more comfortable position, putting his hands underneath his pillow.

“God, can you imagine? Besides, you were supposed to keep an eye on me. You know what happens when I drink.”

“I do know. Why do you think I’m here?” Draco said, shaking his head in mock disapproval. It made Harry frown.

“You sleep here almost every night. I don’t even remember the last time you slept in your own bed.”

“Is that a complaint?” Draco said in a challenging tone. Harry wouldn’t have needed to see his face to know there was a smirk on his lips.

“Yes. You’re very clingy in your sleep,” Harry replied with an answering smirk.

“Excuse me, I was under the impression you liked that. Well, if you feel that violated, I’ll just sleep in my room tonight.”

_Please don’t._

It was on the tip of Harry’s tongue. He bit his lip to prevent him from embarrassing himself. It was bad enough he had feelings for his flatmate… Okay, at this point, Draco was definitely more than his flatmate. He had become his best friend. He couldn’t ruin that by blurting out something stupid. No.

“Seriously though,” Draco grumbled as he threw back the covers and leaned down to retrieve his clothes, “I can’t believe you were thinking about sleeping with one of our friends. Who, by the way, are all in committed relationships. It would have caused so much drama!”

“I wasn’t thinking about sleeping with anyone!”

Now that wasn’t exactly true. And it became harder and harder to hide it every day. Literally. Draco, running around the flat in just his pants or simply a towel, really wasn’t helping this whole situation either.

“I know you weren’t,” Draco said with a grin as he buttoned up his shirt. “I guess you’ll stay a virgin forever.”

“Hey!” Turning beet red, Harry grabbed one of the pillows and threw it with all his might. “Take that back!”

“They should call you ‘The Boy Who Stayed Abstinent For The Rest Of His Life’.”

If only Draco knew! But even if Harry decided to tell him, he wouldn’t even know where to begin. Just thinking about it made him so nervous, he felt like throwing up. Oh, wait, maybe that wasn’t nervousness… Yeah, it definitely wasn’t nervousness.

“Ugh,” Harry groaned, pressing his face into the mattress.

“Five more minutes, Sleeping Beauty. Then you’ll have to come and help me clean.”

“How come you don’t feel sick? You had more to drink than me!”

“Easy. I’m better at everything,” Draco chuckled with a shrug. Harry rolled his eyes and pulled the covers over his head. Going back to sleep wasn’t an option, though. He’d feel awful afterwards, he knew it. Reluctantly, he manoeuvred himself into a sitting position.

Getting dressed took about ten minutes longer than it usually did. Not only because his stomach protested to this kind of activity, but because he couldn’t find any clean socks.

Harry’s heart instantly began beating faster. _Socks_. Oh Merlin! He nearly felt assaulted by the memory his mind was suddenly springing on him. It had been such a disaster!

_“Draco,” Harry whispered. “Draco, wake up.”_

_The blond let out a grunt and buried his face in the crook of Harry’s neck._

_“Let me sleep.”_

_Harry chuckled, ruffling his hair. He didn’t want to wait. He knew it was childish. Christmas morning was tomorrow. But he wanted Draco to have his present now._

_Christmas had always been a little sad for Harry. It hadn’t even been the fact that he’d had to watch Dudley open his ridiculous amount of presents each year. Well, that too, because it had been a reminder that there was no one in this world who cared for him. At Hogwarts, it had changed. He had come to spend Christmas with his new family. And being with the Weasleys was one of the best things Harry could have imagined. He hadn’t thought it could get any better than that. That was before Draco had joined them._

_“Accio present,” he muttered, careful not to move around too much. A moment later, the messily wrapped present flew into his waiting hand._

_“Draco,” he whispered again. “Merry Christmas.” He held the present to Draco’s ear. Maybe the crinkling would pique his interest._

_“What’s going on?” Slowly, Draco opened one eye and rested his chin on Harry’s chest._

_“It’s your Christmas present.”_

_“You’re supposed to give me that tomorrow. Has nobody taught you how Christmas works?” Draco froze, realising what he had just said. “I didn’t mean it like that, I-”_

_“It’s okay.” Harry’s smile was genuine and he felt a warm trickle down his chest when Draco gave him one in return._

_“Alright, you impatient child. Give me my present.”_

_Harry watched anxiously as Draco took his time with the wrapping paper. For Merlin’s sake, how long was this going to take? When Draco’s hands stopped moving and his expression became puzzled, Harry stopped breathing._

_“Socks. You’re giving me socks?”_

_Harry pressed his lips together._

_“They’re… fluffy socks.”_

_“Seriously? Socks? The most boring present ever?”_

_It was hard not to feel hurt._

_“And this couldn’t have waited until tomorrow because…” Draco looked at him expectantly._

_“I was too excited,” Harry said sheepishly, trying to hide how tense he was. Well, what had he thought Draco’s reaction would be? Of course he’d think it was weird. And boring. Draco had no idea what these socks meant to Harry. What he was trying to say with them._

_“Honestly, I was already confident my present would be better than yours, but you could have at least put a little more effort into it.”_

_Harry bit his lip._

_“Do you remember, a few weeks ago, when we came home from dinner with Pansy?” he mumbled._

_“Yeah, what about it?”_

_“You were complaining about the snow. Your hair was stuck to your forehead and your clothes were drenched.”_

_“You always remember so many weird details,” Draco noted._

_“Well… Anyway, I was already in bed when you came back from the bathroom. You were wearing that dark blue shirt…”  …that makes you look absolutely perfect. Harry cleared his throat before he continued. “You got under the covers and started complaining again. And then you stuck your feet between my calves.”_

_“So? Is that why you’re giving me socks? So I won’t-”_

_“No, that’s not it. I-”_

_“Because if you’re going to insist I’m wearing socks to bed-”_

_“It’s not what you think.”_

_“What could you possibly have to say about this that will make it-”_

_Harry didn’t hear the rest of Draco’s sentence. He was too absorbed in his thoughts, his heart sinking. He couldn’t tell him. He could barely listen to the words in his head. All of his courage abruptly left him. It wasn’t like Harry to be afraid of Draco’s reaction to something. But this would change everything. And what if Draco didn’t feel the same? It would destroy Harry. And he would lose his best friend._

_Shaking his head sadly, he decided to let Draco think he simply had terrible taste and didn’t know how to pick a good present. It was better this way._

Harry shivered as all the disappointment from that morning washed over him again. That had been a week ago and he still hadn’t said anything to Draco. Instead, he had tried to go back to how things were.

Making arrangements for their New Year’s Eve party had momentarily distracted him. Well, except for that one time when he was supposed to hang up the string of lights and had a full-on meltdown. It was so pathetic. What was wrong with him? He wasn’t some bloody coward! But he had no experience with these kinds of things and it was definitely out of his comfort zone.

Shaking his head, he made his way to the living room.

“Oh, dear God!”

The flat was an absolute mess. There was confetti and glitter everywhere. The sofa had so many shoe prints all over it, it was hard to tell what its original colour was. Every flat surface had turned into a collecting point for empty bottles. Or… not that empty, Harry realised as he accidentally knocked over several bottles on the ground. Ugh! Beer! The scent made Harry sick. Aaaand now the beer was all over his feet. Great. Well, at least he was barefoot.

“Well, it certainly looks like we had fun,” Draco remarked.

“Yeah. People have deemed our parties the best,” Harry said, scratching the back of his neck. He just wanted to crawl back into bed. Cleaning was the last thing he wanted to do right now.

“Come on, grab your wand. We’ll have the place back to normal in no time,” Draco said, nudging Harry with his elbow.

Even with magic it felt like Harry was lifting weights. Still, it was better than doing it the Muggle way.

As he levitated a bunch of bottles to the kitchen, his eyes fell on Draco who stood in front of the sofa. His face was set in deep concentration, while he silently mouthed the spell to get rid of all the shoe prints. Harry loved watching him like this. But the longer he stared, the more his body reacted to it. He could feel the hammering of his heart against his collarbone, not to mention the intense tingling on the back of his neck.

Harry almost let the bottles drop to the floor. He couldn’t take his eyes off Draco. He wanted to stay like this forever. Well, maybe not exactly like this. He could definitely use a shower and his feet were getting a bit cold. But he wanted them to stay like this; together. Because as long as Draco was with him, even cleaning their currently very disgusting flat was something that made him smile. Because he was happy. Draco always made him feel happy. Well, except when they were fighting. Which was pretty often. But they always made up. Sooner or later. Merlin, they were both so stubborn. But at the end of the day, Harry couldn’t imagine not speaking to Draco anymore, not seeing him every day. It would be torture. It would make everything meaningless.

_Oh, God! Here we go!_

This wasn’t just some little crush. He was completely and utterly, irrevocably, head over heels in love with his best friend. And the feeling seemed to be intensifying. _Well, shit!_

It hit him with such force, it nearly knocked him off his feet. He had known it from the day Draco had lain beside him, softly snoring into his ear while Harry had shivered from the coldness of his feet. If it had been any other person beside him, Harry would have probably tried to slip out of bed. But with Draco, everything felt right. Harry wanted to keep him warm, be there for him… be with him.

It was a good thing Draco wasn’t paying attention to Harry right now. His hands were shaking so bad, he almost dropped his wand. Apparently, having the same revelation twice didn’t keep him from being completely overwhelmed. It was weird. He was just watching Draco clean the sofa. And yet, it put everything into perspective. Because if this was what his life with Draco would be like, Harry wanted it.

“Draco.”

He turned around, blinking at Harry.

“Yes?”

“I- Um… You know, we have been living together for a while now and- I mean, of course you know that, you were there.” Why was this so hard? He wished his mind would stop screaming at him for just a second, so he could blurt out what he so desperately wanted to say. But this voice in his head wouldn’t shut up about how he was making a fool out of himself.

This could ruin everything. Their friendship would be over. Draco would probably move out, leave Harry all alone and never come back. And when they’d bump into each other on the street months later, Draco would probably be very curt and polite or ignore him completely. Or… what if Harry ran into him and Draco was with somebody else? He wouldn’t be able to handle it. How was he supposed to live without looking at that face? That smile? His infatuating laugh? His delicate hands? His icy cold feet?

“Is everything okay?”

Harry blinked.

 _Merlin, don’t be so dramatic_ , he chastised himself. _Don’t always go to the worst case scenario!_ Who knew, maybe Draco would like the idea of being with Harry. There were enough things indicating that, right? Just like last night, when he…

“Oh my God,” Harry gasped as he suddenly remembered standing on the balcony with Draco. “We kissed, didn’t we? We kissed!”

Draco gave him a weird look.

“I’m not sure if I would really call it a kiss, but yes, there were lips… touching.”

“Oh, God.” Harry’s hands flew to his forehead. How could he have forgotten?

“Keep your pants on. It was only a quick peck at midnight. I admit, I was hoping it would be a little bit more than that, but I didn’t want to push you. You were completely pissed.”

Harry’s mind reeled. _Hoped? More than that?_ What the actual fuck?

“Well, we can always make up for it today if you’re in the mood for it,” Draco said evenly. At this point, Harry was pretty sure he was hallucinating. “I won’t be mad if you’re not,” Draco continued. “I understand. But…”

Harry forgot how to breathe when Draco suddenly stood in front of him, leaning in. He brushed his lips against Harry’s cheeks and Harry could feel he was smiling.

“Happy anniversary,” Draco breathed.

Anniversary? What? It wasn’t their anniversary. The day they had moved in together was October 2nd.

“What are you talking about?” Harry was so confused. “What anniversary?”

“Harry, you’re kidding, right?”

Oh, how he wished he was! But he had no idea what was going on.

“I should have known you wouldn’t remember those kind of things. Well, I guess it’s a bit childish to celebrate a six month anniversary. It’s not even the longest relationship we’ve both had. But I swear to Merlin, if we ever get married and you forget our anniversary, I will kill you.”

Harry could only stand there and stare while Draco wrapped his arms around him.

“I didn’t mean to freak you out,” Draco muttered after a moment. “Forget everything I said about marriage, okay? Harry? Are you even listening to me? Are you okay?”

Harry cleared his throat, which actually sounded more like a whimper.

“I’m okay,” he croaked. “Actually, I think I’m more than okay.” As crazy as this whole situation was, he couldn’t stop himself from smiling like an idiot. So… all this time, he and Draco had already been together? How could he have not noticed?  And wait… why was their six months anniversary today?

“So… you remember the day we, err… started… dating?”

Draco snorted.

“How could I forget? You were all over me.”

“Excuse me?”

“Yeah. Don’t you remember? Weasley even commented on it. ‘Don’t you two ever let go of each other?’”

Harry snickered at Draco’s horrible impression of Ron.

“But I always hold your hand, that’s nothing new.”

“It was on that day,” Draco said. Harry frowned, trying to remember. Huh. Maybe Draco was right. He hadn’t even realised. Grabbing Draco’s hand had become such a habit, he didn’t really think about it anymore. Just like sleeping in the same bed. Snuggling in said bed. Cuddling on the couch. Doing… basically everything together.

Oh. People who were just friends probably didn’t do that… right? But wait. People who were in a relationship definitely did something he and Draco had never done.

“So, we kissed yesterday… For the first time?”

“Yes?” Draco looked like he wanted to roll his eyes and say ‘Obviously!’

“But… you thought… I mean, we are in a relationship… but we haven’t been… that physical.”

Draco just shrugged.

“I didn’t want to push it. You’re obviously uncomfortable with it.”

“What? Why would you think that?”

“I gave you plenty of opportunities, but you didn’t seem that interested. It’s okay, you know. We don’t need to… do… anything. Not if you’re uncomfortable with it.”

Harry inwardly groaned. How could Draco be so insightful and so blind at the same time? _You’re one to talk!_ Yeah, okay, maybe they were both a bit slow.

“I’m not uncomfortable with it,” Harry burst out. “Draco, I had no idea we- Oh God, this is so embarrassing.” He let out a deep sigh, before taking Draco’s hands in his. “I had no idea you wanted to- you wanted me to…”

“So… you’re not opposed to being… physical?”

“Of course not!”

They both watched each other’s cheeks turn red until Harry averted his eyes to the floor.  
  
“Okay then,” he mumbled. “So I guess…”

“Wait, while we’re being honest,” Draco interrupted him. “Care to tell me what the fuck was going on with you when you gave me the worst Christmas present ever? Were you trying to break up with me with those socks?”

_Oh, wow, okay. So I do get to make a fool out of myself after all._

“Well,” Harry began, immediately feeling hot all over. “It’s actually… I wanted to… Ugh, look, I’m not good with those kind of things, okay? It’s just that… that night I told you about, when you had your cold feet against my-”

“Oh, Merlin, that story again,” Draco groaned.

“Damn it, Draco, will you let me finish? The socks were meant to be… like, a symbol. Because I realised…” Merlin, it sounded so stupid! Oh, what the hell! “I realised I always want to keep you warm. Because… I want you to be happy. Always. Because… well, you mean everything to me.”

Harry couldn’t tell if Draco was about to shout or laugh or cry. He was perfectly still as he gazed at Harry.

“So… you’re saying…”

Harry swallowed around the lump in his throat and squeezed Draco’s hands a little tighter.

“It was the moment I realised I love you.”

Harry’s only consolation for feeling like a complete idiot was that Draco looked like somebody had just smacked him across the face.

“You love me?” he asked, his eyes wide. “You love me. And that’s the moment you realised you love me? When I used your calves to warm my feet?”

“Um, yeah,” Harry said sheepishly. “It’s weird, I know.”

“Huh. I suddenly have a new appreciation for those socks,” Draco murmured, his face turning soft again. “How about we leave the mess as it is and worry about cleaning later?”

“Um…” Harry suddenly felt like throwing up again. He wanted to. He really, really wanted to, but this was all going very fast all of a sudden.  
  
“Relax,” Draco whispered, pulling Harry into his arms. “We can go slow, okay? We won’t do anything you don’t want to.”

“Okay,” Harry said with a shaky breath. He closed his eyes as he felt Draco’s lips on his, melting into his touch. Even if this was only their second kiss, it already felt familiar. Warm. But exciting nonetheless.

He felt Draco slowly pushing him towards his room and even though his heart was ready to jump out of his chest, he trusted Draco. They would take it slow.

“Fuck!”

Harry almost stumbled backwards at Draco’s outburst. Puzzled, he started wondering why Draco suddenly looked so exasperated.

“Oh God! I gave you a broom,” he groaned.

“What?” Harry didn’t follow.

“You gave me those socks that weren’t just socks… You… And I gave you a stupid new broom! How lame is that?”

Harry couldn’t help but laugh.

“Draco, I loved the broom, what are you talking about?”

Instead of laughing with him, Draco looked at him with a serious expression.

“I… I do, too. You know that, right?”

Harry blinked, almost shivering under Draco’s intense gaze.

“I do now,” he whispered. This day was just full of surprises. Not only had Harry learned he was in a relationship, had been for a while, but Draco also loved him. And he loved Draco. This was insane!

Shaking his head despite himself, he pressed a kiss to Draco’s jaw when he pulled him into his arms again.

“Happy anniversary,” Harry chuckled.

Seriously, this was _so_ insane. But… he really couldn’t have been happier.


	2. Hold on to the memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a prequel/sequel situation ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since so many asked for a sequel... ;)  
> And [potterlocked16](https://potterlocked16.tumblr.com/) sent me an ask on tumblr, too, sooo here we are :)

“What are you smiling about?”

Making sure he wouldn’t spill his coffee, Draco slowly leaned back in his chair. Without breaking eye contact with his boyfriend, he placed his feet on the table and crossed them at the ankles.

“Nothing,” he said, his smile widening.

“You’re wearing the socks,” Harry remarked.

“I know.” It didn’t even occur to Draco to give Harry some snarky or witty retort. His mind was preoccupied with other things. Happiness, for the most part.

They had come a long way since they had first moved in together over two years ago. What a roller coaster ride it had been! For almost a year, they had just been flatmates. Sure, they had spent a lot of time together, but it had taken quite some time before things had changed. It had all started with their mutual desire to spend their evenings at home, rather than going out. They’d just eat dinner and sometimes watch television together. Draco had become quite fond of spending their evenings like this.

At first, he had been wary of this weird Muggle device that had suddenly replaced one of their shelves in the living room. Harry had assured him, he’d like it. And he did. This television thing was quite entertaining. But that wasn’t the part Draco liked most.

At that point, there wasn’t much they didn’t share. Except for Draco’s shampoo. But Harry knew not to touch it. Just like Harry knew Draco would be cold on the sofa. He distinctly remembered that one night, when Harry had gotten the ball rolling…

 

* * *

 

 

Draco felt his lips stretch into a smile as he watched his flatmate approach, a bowl of popcorn in one hand and a blanket in the other. They were so in sync by now, they barely needed any words to know what the other needed. Draco took the bowl from Harry while he draped the blanket over the both of them.

“What are we watching tonight?” Draco asked. Not that he really cared. Rather than watching the movie, he usually watched Harry. His face and his reactions to the plot twists were so captivating. Tonight was no exception. Harry’s eyes were wide and he absentmindedly shoved popcorn into his mouth every now and then, while the bloke in the weird black suit with pointy ears (apparently he had a thing for bats or something?) speeded into the night on his motorcycle.

As much fun as it was to watch Harry like this, Draco realised he had been sitting in the same position far too long. His left leg felt numb and his neck was beginning to hurt. He started shifting, causing the blanket to fall on the floor.

“Sorry,” Draco mumbled. “My leg has gone dead.”

“Hold on,” Harry said, changing his position and putting the popcorn aside. “Here, give me your feet.”

Draco frowned.

“What?”  
  
“Give me your feet,” Harry repeated. He patted his lap and gave Draco an expectant look. Slowly, Draco stretched out his feet. He wasn’t sure how he felt about this. He didn’t like people touching his feet. Not many had done so, but he just knew he didn’t like it. As soon as his heels touched Harry’s thighs, Harry put the blanket over them again, slipping his hands underneath. He started rubbing Draco’s ankles, much to Draco’s surprise. Huh. That didn’t feel so bad. Actually…

Draco let out a contented sigh. Who would have thought having Harry Potter as a flatmate would have such benefits?

Out of the corner of his eyes, he glanced at said flatmate. It had been a long time since he had thought of him as ‘Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived’. To him, he was just Harry now. No more ‘Golden Boy’ or ‘The Chosen One’. Just Harry. _The potential love of your life._ Oh, Merlin! Not that again! Draco inwardly groaned. His mind was such a traitor sometimes. Actually, lately, it was all the time.

It didn’t matter if Harry was cooking dinner, coming out of the shower, or reading in one of the armchairs, Draco always stopped in his tracks and just watched him. He couldn’t not do it. It was like a reflex. Speaking of reflexes… Draco’s right knee suddenly jerked when he felt Harry’s fingers on his bare skin.

What was he doing? Harry’s fingers were brushing his shin. Draco had been so preoccupied in thought, he hadn’t realised how Harry’s hand had slowly found its way up his trousers leg. Was Harry even aware of what he was doing? He seemed to be completely absorbed in the movie.

“I need something to drink. You want something?” Harry asked, not taking his eyes off the television.

Draco just shook his head and watched Harry as he went into the kitchen. He could still feel Harry’s touch on his skin and it utterly confused him. He desperately wanted him to touch him again, but would that even happen? Had that just been an accident?

When Harry returned with a glass of water, Draco tried to act as normal as possible. Which wasn’t that easy to do, because _holy shit_ , what was Harry doing? He hadn’t been sitting this close to Draco before! Now, Draco’s thighs were on Harry’s lap and Harry was almost touching his bum. _Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit!!!_

The following twenty minutes were the most uncomfortable in Draco’s life. Okay, maybe not _the_ most uncomfortable, but uncomfortable enough. Because he didn’t dare move a muscle in his body. He stayed completely rigid, afraid of making Harry realise Draco was basically sitting in his lap. But he had to move sometime.

Not wanting to end this but feeling curious at the same time, Draco slowly leaned forward. He acted as if he was just stretching a little bit, but instead of leaning back to his original position, he rested his head on the back of the sofa, right next to Harry’s shoulder. Now, he’d just have to move his head down a few inches and he’d basically be snuggling with Harry. _Sweet Merlin! Okay, stay calm. Act natural. Do it gradually._

When his cheek made the first contact with Harry’s jumper, Draco almost made a strangled sound. _Almost there!_ It seemed almost too good to be true when he was finally nestled on Harry’s shoulder. Draco couldn’t resist reclining his head. As a result, his nose was pressing against Harry’s throat. Oh dear God! He smelled so, so _good_!

When Harry suddenly started moving, Draco thought he was about to be pushed away. Instead, Harry draped one arm around Draco, pulling him even closer to him. He placed his free hand on Draco’s forearm and then Draco felt Harry’s cheek on top of his head. Merlin’s pants! Now he was _really_ sitting in Harry’s lap and there was no denying that this was full-on snuggling!

It wasn’t like they hadn’t had physical contact before, but not like this. Draco had often imagined what it would be like, having Harry’s arms around him, but he had never dared to hope it would actually come true. It was a curious feeling. He felt warm, giddy and secure.

Being held like this was a completely new experience for Draco. Sometimes, especially as a child, his mother had hugged him or patted his back… But it had always been because Draco had been crying, because he had a nightmare or had scraped his knee while playing in the garden. There had always been a reason. She had comforted him because he had been upset.

For the longest time, Draco hadn’t thought he needed anything more than that. From anyone. Being hugged for no reason at all seemed like such a strange concept. Until Draco discovered there was always a reason, wasn’t there?

He desperately wished he could look into Harry’s head right now. What was _his_ reason for doing this? Did he feel the same things Draco felt right now? It wasn’t likely. Then again…

Draco peeked at Harry from under his lashes. How many times had _he_ been hugged as a child? As an adult? Draco still didn’t know everything about Harry’s past, but the things he had told him, still appalled him. Looking back, Draco hadn’t had the best childhood either, but, at least, he had been happy then.

The urge to take Harry’s pain away often clouded his judgement, resulting in soppy little presents or biting his tongue when they were about to fight. It was so unlike him and he wasn’t even sure if Harry had noticed any of it. It wasn’t like Draco was trying to woo him or anything. He just… couldn’t help it. But maybe, judging from their current snuggling situation, Harry wanted to be wooed? Maybe he even wanted to woo Draco?

Well, there was only one way to find out…

Heart beating wildly, Draco decided to push his luck. He started drawing circles with his thumb on Harry’s hand. His mind was so firmly programmed on being rejected, he couldn’t believe it when Harry started to do the same.

Sitting so close to him, suddenly made Draco extremely nervous. And because of his traitorous body, Harry would know exactly how nervous he was. Draco’s whole body shook with every violent heartbeat. There was no way this was going unnoticed. And surely, Harry had noticed Draco was breathing heavily, too.

But as embarrassing as this was, Harry hadn’t pulled away. That was a good sign, right? Well, he was still watching the movie intently. But he couldn’t be so distracted, he didn’t realise what was going on, right? Right? Well, Draco would have to get his attention to find out…

Slowly, he leaned his head back further and started caressing Harry’s jaw with the tip of his nose. If Harry just turned his head a little bit… _Come on, look at me!_ It would probably knock all the breath out of Draco’s lung, but he already felt breathless. All he could think about was the fact that he might be kissing Harry Potter in the next few seconds. _If he would just turn his head and look at me!_

Draco continued caressing his jaw with his nose, but Harry was either too fixated on the movie or he didn’t care. Well, that was a disappointment! But his heart still jumped when Harry slowly intertwined their fingers or pulled him closer every now and then. It was so confusing. Harry obviously wasn’t opposed to them being close, but it was also very obvious he didn’t want it to go any further than that. So for the time being, Draco decided to just enjoy these moments. And they kept happening. A lot. And it was fantastic. Only, the more it happened, the more Draco realised, snuggling on the sofa wasn’t enough anymore. His heart sank every time Harry turned off the television and they each retreated to their respective bedrooms. For weeks, he was lying in his bed, unable to sleep because he missed Harry’s warmth. Was Harry experiencing the same thing or was Draco the only one? What if they were both miserable?

One night, he couldn’t take it anymore. He just couldn’t watch Harry go into his room and close the door.

“Harry,” he carefully began while they were still on the sofa.

“Hmm?”

“Would you mind if I…” _Merlin, just ask him already!_ “... if I slept in your room tonight?” Draco put his tongue between his teeth, fighting the urge to bite down on it. Hard. He could already feel beads of sweat forming on his forehead. “You see, my room is-”

“Sure,” Harry said with a smile. Wow, he hadn’t even given Draco the chance to give him some lame excuse.

“Okay. Great.”

Draco was so excited, he stayed silent for the rest of the night. He insisted on going to the bathroom first, so he would already be in bed when Harry came in. It still did nothing to calm his excitement. And apparently, his body was very, very excited about this. As soon as Harry slipped into bed and opened his arms for Draco, his mind went completely blank. He didn’t hesitate to press his body against Harry’s, wondering what he had done to get so lucky.

Feeling Harry’s fingers on his skin, listening to the sound of Harry’s heartbeat, breathing in his smell… it all felt like a dream. Only, it was arousing some very real and very alarming sensations in the pit of his stomach. The fact that one of his legs was trapped between Harry’s thighs didn’t exactly help either.

Careful not to be too forward, he let his finger slide down Harry’s side, stopping at his hips. He didn’t dare to go down any further. Not without knowing Harry was okay with this. Draco never found out if he was. Harry simply pulled him closer, cradling the back of his head and pressing it against his chest. _Well, I guess we’re not going to kiss then. Again._ Huh. Maybe that was his answer after all.

Maybe Harry just liked to snuggle. Draco knew he was… inexperienced. Maybe he wanted to take things slow. Or maybe he didn’t like to be too physical in general. Merlin, this was so confusing! Especially, when his body was still hoping for more!

And Draco couldn’t help wondering what that would be like… letting his fingers slip underneath Harry’s shirt, caressing his stomach… moving his hand to his back, sliding his fingers up and down his spine. At that point, he’d probably take off Harry’s shirt. What noises would Harry make if Draco started kissing his chest? He’d have one hand buried in Harry’s hair and move his mouth up to his neck from time to time, before slowly moving down again.

How would Harry react if Draco teased his nipple? Would he scream if Draco started sucking it into his mouth? Or would he silently squirm under him? Maybe he wouldn’t like it at all. Oh, but in Draco’s mind he did. He kept begging for more. And Draco would happily comply.

What if he left a trail down Harry’s chest with his tongue, down to his stomach? Would Harry tremble with anticipation? Would he whisper Draco’s name when his tongue caressed his abdomen, right above the waistband of his pants? Would he arch his back and press himself closer to Draco? Would Draco be able to feel how much Harry wanted him?

_Oh, sweet Merlin!_

Draco had to stop these thoughts. Now! Because he was pretty sure Harry could feel how much Draco wanted _him_ right now. _Damn it, cool it down!_ Well, that was easier said than done. Harry kept moving, ever so slightly, and basically rubbed himself against Draco. Oh God, this was not good! Harry was basically feeding the beast. But without giving it what it wanted.

Draco mentally swore. What should he do now? Harry seemed to be asleep, but what if he woke up, just to find the manifestation of Draco’s excitement poking his hip? Fuck, that would be so embarrassing! He had to turn over. It would mean not lying in Harry’s arms anymore, but if that was the price he had to pay…

Careful not to wake Harry, Draco tried to detangle himself from him. It proved to be nearly impossible. His leg was still trapped between Harry’s thighs. Ugh! Well, okay, there was no way Harry wouldn’t wake up. But if Draco was already facing the other way, maybe he wouldn’t notice anything.

_Alright then…_

Without being careful this time, Draco yanked his leg free and basically threw himself on the other side of the bed. His body was already screaming at him to go back. It craved Harry’s touch. As if Harry could hear the protests of Draco’s body, he had his arms around him again only a few seconds later, hugging him from behind.

Oh God, this was even worse! Now, his bum was nestled in Harry’s lap! And the only thing separating his bum from Harry’s lap were two very thin layers of fabric.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!!!_

_Okay, stay calm. Well, as calm as you can. Okay. The thing is, you can’t just get up now to take care of this… problem. Harry might think you don’t like sleeping with him after all. Shit. Ugh. Okay, try to wait a little bit and then you can sneak out. And then you’ll come back and things will be fine…_

And they were. After Draco had gotten up three times that night. And the night after that. And the night after that. And- Well, you get the idea. But Draco was determined to make it work. He would rather suffer through this than not having Harry near him. But he also had to admit, it kind of stung that Harry didn’t seem to have the same problem. At all. Well, yes, in the morning, but that wasn’t necessarily because of Draco. It kept being the most confusing thing ever. And it took months for Draco to get enough sleep. His body still got excited, but it was almost like falling into a routine. And if Harry didn’t want to be more physical with him, Draco certainly wouldn’t push him.

The way they interacted with each other now was so comfortable and sweet (minus the occasional fighting), Draco was genuinely happy with how things were. It almost felt like they were a couple. A couple nobody knew about…

“So, how’s work?” Weasley asked one night when he and his wife were over for dinner.

“Oh, same old, same old,” Harry said with a shrug. “It would be much more fun if you were still around.” Weasley chuckled as he shoved another spoonful of crème brûlée into his mouth.

“Well, sometimes I wish I could just go back. Especially when Rose is being difficult. But I like to be a stay-at-home dad.”

“Who would have thought,” Hermione grinned while she patted her husband’s shoulder. “You guys should come over sometime. Rose misses you.”

“We will,” Harry assured her. Draco had to admit, if only to himself, he had become fond of the little monster, so he had no objection to that at all.

“Is she still insisting on being a dragon tamer?” Draco asked, a smile forming on his lips.

“Oh, you have no idea,” Weasley laughed.

“Yes, I’ve been meaning to have a word with Uncle Charlie about that,” Hermione said, looking less stern than she sounded.

“Good luck with that,” Weasley mumbled.

“Have you heard from him lately?” Harry asked, reaching for his wine glass. Only, it wasn’t his wine glass he was grabbing right now.

Draco stared at his hand that was suddenly covered by Harry’s. What was he doing? They usually only did this when they were alone! Were they really ready to make it official? Seriously? They hadn’t even talked about it!

Draco was on the verge of panicking. They had been living in their secure little bubble. He wasn’t ready to face reality just yet.

The weird thing was, their friends didn’t even bat an eyelash at their joined hands. They were just talking and laughing as if nothing unusual was going on. Did that mean they were fine with it? Draco had no idea what to make of this…

 

* * *

 

 

Draco was still smiling while the memories played out in his head. Harry hadn’t let go of his hand the whole evening. Weasley had commented on that at one point, but that had been it.

As confusing as this whole thing with Harry had been, that had been the moment Draco had been sure. If Harry was comfortable enough to be affectionate towards him in front of their friends, they had made it. They were officially a couple. Draco would never forget that day. June 1st.

As he took a sip of his coffee, he watched his boyfriend prepare breakfast. Boyfriend. After six months of officially dating, he still wasn’t tired of that word. And now that he finally got to, he definitely wasn’t becoming tired of kissing his boyfriend.

“You better let me take care of that pancakes, otherwise you’ll have to starve to death,” Harry mumbled against his mouth.

“I don’t care,” Draco whispered, closing the gap between their lips again. Harry made a pleased humming sound while his hands wandered to the small of Draco’s back.

“Ron and Hermione will be here any second.”

“Oh, right. I forgot about that. I’ll take a quick shower then.” He placed a quick kiss on the tip of Harry’s nose and started taking off his clothes as he walked. When he glanced over his shoulder, he saw his boyfriend watching him, his cheeks flaming up. Draco gave him a dramatic wink before he hurried into the bathroom.

As much as he wished he and Harry could have taken a shower together, Harry wasn’t there yet. They had done lots of stuff, though, and it wasn’t like Draco was complaining. Sure, it was frustrating sometimes, but he wanted Harry to feel comfortable with what they were doing. He’d never want Harry to do something just because he thought Draco was impatient. Draco would wait. It would be worth it.

Casting a quick cleansing charm on the socks, Draco put them on again, along with some fresh clothes and made his way back to the kitchen. Just as he was about to enter, however, he heard a squeal that made him stop.

“Harry, mate, you’re joking, right?” Ron said incredulously.

“I wish I was,” Harry mumbled.

There was a brief silence after that and Draco wondered what they were talking about.

“How can you not know you’re dating someone?”

What?

“He never said anything! We never discussed it! I really had no idea!”

Wait, what?

“But… you guys… mate, come on, you must have realised-”

“I didn’t! How was I supposed to know?”

“Harry,” Hermione interjected. “Have you never thought about all the things you did together?”

“Well, yeah, but… I thought lots of people hold hands or snuggle… and… sleep in the same bed?”

“Oh, Harry!”

“I know, I know. And when Draco congratulated me on our anniversary, he looked so happy! And I was happy, so I saw no reason to tell him then.”

“But… you have told him, right?”

“Not exactly.”

“Harry!”

“I was waiting for the right moment. I didn’t want to-”

“Err… Harry-”

“No, Ron, I know, but-”

“No, Harry, you might want to stop talking.”

Draco had stepped into the doorway, his hands balled into fists. He watched as Harry slowly turned around.

“HARRY JAMES POTTER!!!”

“Oh, God! Oh no!” Harry’s face was pale and he looked like he was about to be sick on the kitchen floor.

“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU!”

Weasley and his wife exchanged uncomfortable glances.

“I think we should go,” Hermione muttered, tugging at her husband’s sleeve.

“No, please don’t go,” Harry said in pleading tone. “He’s going to kill me,” he hissed under his breath.

“Damn right I am,” Draco fumed. “Are you seriously telling me, I was only under the impression we’ve been dating for the last six months? Are you seriously telling me, you had no idea what was going on?” He took a deep breath, which didn’t calm him in the least. “ARE YOU SERIOUSLY TELLING ME YOU’RE THAT STUPID?”

“Draco-”

“I’m leaving you.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Watch me.”

He crossed his arms over his chest and gave Harry a murderous look.

“I hate you.”

“No, you don’t,” Harry said, his voice shaking. “You love me. And I love you. That’s all that matters, right?”

“No, it’s not!” Draco threw his hands in the air and walked over to the kitchen table. “For the past six month I have been happier than ever before. AND NOW YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT WAS ALL A LIE?” He picked up the plate full of pancakes and began chucking them at his boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend. Never-really-had-been-his-boyfriend. Ugh, whatever! “I hate you, I hate you, I HATE YOU!”

“Draco!” Trying to shield himself from the pancakes, Harry was covering his face with his hands. “I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry!”

“That’s it? You’re sorry?”

“Draco, what do you want me to say?”

“Nothing! I don’t want you to say anything, because everything is a lie!”

“Hey, I wasn’t lying when I told you I love you.”

Draco considered throwing the plate at Harry when he ran out of pancakes. Instead, he put it back on the table and gritted his teeth.

“Look,” Harry continued, slowly lowering his hands. “I really am sorry that I hurt you. But I didn’t do it in purpose. I really had no idea.”

“You are unbelievable!”

“I know. I’m not good with stuff like that. But… I mean, we were happy, right? We’re still happy.”

“Speak for yourself,” Draco growled.

“Draco.” Harry walked over to him, placing his hands on Draco’s shoulders. Draco shrugged them off, only for Harry to grab his hands.

“Let go of me.”

“No.”

“I said-”

“No! Draco, I love you. It took me long enough to realise it. I’m pretty sure I was in love with you long before you were in love with me, so-”

“I highly doubt that,” Draco muttered. “And that’s not the point.”

“Draco, I’m sorry. I’m such an idiot. But… you do know I’m happy with you, right? I mean, I was completely overwhelmed when you told me we had been dating for the last six months, but the more I thought about it, the more sense it made. And I realised it’s what I wanted all along.”

“Now you’re just saying things so I won’t kill you.”

“No, Draco, I mean it. I love you. I want to be with you. Ever since you came back into my life, I’ve had these feelings I’ve never had before. You changed everything. For the better. And I hope you will do so in the future. And I hope you’ll let me try to do the same for you.”

As much as Draco wanted to stay mad at him, these words found their way right into Draco’s heart. Damn Harry Potter and his soppiness!

“I won’t forgive you just yet,” Draco muttered darkly. “But I’ll let you try to make it up to me.”

“Okay,” Harry whispered, moving his hands to Draco’s hips. “I love you,” he breathed before brushing his lips softly against Draco’s.

“I know,” Draco murmured, trying hard not to let it show how much the kiss affected him.

“Are you still mad?” Harry asked, kissing him again. His tongue traced the curve of Draco’s lower lip. Draco couldn’t help but shiver.

“Yes,” he practically moaned, before his own tongue met Harry’s. He buried his hands in the thick black locks, pulling him closer to him.

“How long are you going to be mad?” Harry asked, breathlessly.

“For a very, very long time,” Draco responded, relishing the deep sound Harry made when Draco slipped his fingers underneath his shirt.

“Err… guys? We’re still here.”

“I don’t think they can hear you right now, Ron.”

“Can we make them stop?”

“They’ll just scream at each other again, if we do that.”

“I’d rather watch them scream at each other than watching… this.”

“That’s exactly why we should give them some privacy now. Come on, Ron.”

“But what about breakfast?”

“I’ll buy you some on the way home.”

“On the way home? What, you want to grab some poor wizard’s scone while we floo past him?”

“Don’t get smart with me. Come on.”

“Hermione… They’re going to be okay, right?”

“Yes, I firmly believe they’re going to be okay.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because they’re Harry and Draco.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :)
> 
> Say Hi on [tumblr](https://parkkate.tumblr.com/) :)

**Author's Note:**

> I was prompted by [emmagrangergood](https://emmagrangergood.tumblr.com/) on tumblr:
> 
> Can you do one where Harry realises he's not just got a really big crush, he actually LOVES his best friend Draco. So he tries to pic up the courage to tell him in a whole week but before he gets to talk Draco congrats him on their 6 months anniversary as a couple. (Harry ofc is really happy about this and later realised that no one else are "just friends" when they act like him and Draco) 
> 
> Thanks for reading :)
> 
> Say Hi on [tumblr](https://parkkate.tumblr.com/) :)


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